Who am I to advise people on writing whisky blogs? Well, my blog is well regarded among 'those in the know' and I have received loads of feedback (all positive of course) so I think I might actually be able to give some tips based on my experiences, and that aforementioned feedback, of course. Guidelines? Never, not on this blog. This blog is always about the rules, and you might even remember one of my first whisky blog posts, the official 'whisky buying rules', of which the most important one was, that rules are meant to be broken, and that's OK, we are all 'animals'. So then, with all that said and indeed, done, let me give you some advice slash rules on writing a whisky blog!
Brew a coffee or a tea...
Every successful whisky blog ever written has been powered by caffeine. This should be common practice before you even think about writing your blog. Once you have had a 'brew' you will be more alert, more focused, and more driven, and 'brimming' with ideas. Then, and only then, should you start to visually map out what format your blog is going to take. Trust me on this, if you aren't having a brew before you start planning your blog, you might as well just give up, go home and watch Netflix, which does sound alright actually, there is loads of stuff to watch on Netflix
and then pour yourself a whisky...
Yes, every single whisky related blog output should be done with a dram, I know this sounds obvious, and perhaps even trite, but it's true. You should be inspired, you are writing about whisky, so have a dram to hand, it really helps with the inspiration! A visual, nasal and even aural experience. If you listen closely enough, you can actually 'hear' whisky, and sometimes it speaks to you and tells you what you 'could' write. Maybe this is even more obvious, but if you are reviewing a whisky, pour that specific dram. LOL, I am sorry, but this is actually 'a rule', never type without whisky
Don't live in NYC...
There has never, in the history of the written word, ever, been anything good to come out of NYC. If you are considering writing a blog about whisky, then for god's sake, move out of that hell space called 'New York'. No-one cares about your NYC centric life, your coffeeshops, your culture. Everything about NYC sucks ass, including your blog if you live there, it's just a cold hard fact, keep your NYC stuff to within NYC, we aren't interested, please stop, if you live in NYC please don't contact me about a piece in my blog, because your writings will be tainted, tainted with NYC rubbish, just like how your city is filled with rubbish. We have had enough, enough now, that's enough, please stop I am begging you, that's enough.
and don't forget to buy your significant other a Christmas present, leaving it to the last moment and then have a 'lockdown' announced...
Yes, another obvious tip here, but you really want to be focused when you write. If you have things on your mind, you will be distracted and therefore these other things will come through in your writing. Sadly, this is something I have seen a lot when it comes to whisky blogging. YOU NEED TO BE FOCUSED, razor sharp, because this is a serious business and people can, and will get hurt by mistakes. Take out the bins, order what you need to order, complete your to do list, and make sure to feed your pets or children, before you blog. This is perhaps my top tip, don't forget this one, please
Be safe...
Please don’t upload or share anything you wouldn’t want your parents, carers, teachers or future employers seeing because once you post something, you lose control of it, especially if someone else screenshots or shares it. Don’t share personal details and keep things like your address, phone number, full name, school and date of birth private, and check what people can see in your privacy settings. Remember that people can use small clues like a school logo in a photo to find out a lot about you. There are always people watching your every move, so if possible randomise your data, and, perhaps don't give the correct tasting notes, instead substituting in tasting notes for a different whisky. This will throw people off and keep you safe
but not too safe...
No-one likes a standard, run of the mill whisky blog post, going through the motions with a tried and tested formula, so shake it up, put the conclusion right at the start, mention the weather, review other things in your blog post other than whisky as well as the whisky such as your environment, the latest issue you have with your partner or even two whiskies at once, blended together and then thrown down the sink without having drank it, and your feelings about that, why you did it, and why it was a bad idea. Always think 'different', always think 'out of the box'. Review the box the whisky came in, for instance, or review a whisky that's been poured from a bottle that's still in the box. It tastes different, trust me! Use wine glasses for cask strength whisky, just try and make yourself stand out! Actually this might be my most important tip (rule)
And finally...
Perhaps the second most important tip (rule) I can give you is to use pen and paper. Every single blog I have ever written has first been penned on that old trusted format. It's also important to make sure, much like Eminem in 8 mile, to write your stuff down when you are travelling between destinations. Now, the astute reader might say, Robert, how does that jive with your other tips which seem to suggest an indoor environment for writing a whisky blog, but really, your blog should be essentially in an actual notebook before it gets anywhere near a laptop, ipad or whatever electronic device you are using to blog with. There should be vomit on your sweater already, perhaps from mom's spaghetti, you should be nervous, but on the surface look calm, and ready. Lose yourself, in the moment, in the writing, be outside, be on transport, connect with the earth, with people. As they say, touch grass! This will make sure your blog is 'street' and 'of the earth'
And finally...
Update your blog, sometimes without telling people. Change it, delete it, repurpose whatever your want it's your blog and that means freedom. This particular tip wasn't in the original set of tips, and I shall tell no-one about it, and neither shall you, it's the final tip, the golden tip and it's our secret, never to be shared with anyone. Changing your blog, making it better, rewriting things and not giving a goddam is your right and you should cherish it. This is not a newspaper, this is not a book, this is a blog, and you should treat it as such. Live, laugh and love.
So then, those are my tips and I hope they might be helpful to those thinking about blogging about whisky, or indeed, those who consider themselves 'expert' whisky bloggers. If you think you might need my professional help on such matters, I always respond to DM's on Twitter and am accepting submissions and would be happy to showcase your work, and work with you on 'drafts' and the 'publication' process!
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