Friends, it is with a heavy heart that I write this. I know what I know, I was born when I was born and I grew up when I grew up, and those things made me who I am, and I am a seasonal man. I am a winter, spring, summer and autumn type of chap. I need the cold, the warmth, the extremes and the in-betweens. I yearn for the traditional seasons, the wrap up warm, the shorts and t-shirts. I need gloves, I need summer jackets, I need it all, I want it all, I grew up with it all, and I don't have those things anymore. Each season was like a new life, a rebirth, a shedding of the skin into three perfect calendar months of postcard marketing, advertising period clothing, products and ways of living, eating and drinking. That's who I am, that's where I came from. I am a seasonal man (more on this later)
Friends, all this seasonal man sees now is a post apocalyptic industrial world of continuous nightmares, hellish weather and acid rain. It never snows, it's too hot and the water smells of piss and is yellow. The water, when analysed, contains piss. This is our piss drinking future, delivered to us by a robotic AI coca cola truck driving Santa Claus, delivering us coca cola that, when analysed, also contains piss. Divorced from our natural habitats and seasons, every day becomes like the last, a soul crunching spirit snapping suck on an exhaust pipe that actually, almost literally, is attached to your own anus. Some have said to me, Robert, this is a 'negative view', and, Robert 'this is because you are middle aged' and 'most folks, especially men, have these everything is bad now views, please, Robert, please, calm down'.
Fair enough.
This is a review of Lagavulin 8
I normally don't do whisky reviews because, honestly, I am not very good at them. When I came into the whisky scene I wondered what I could possibly contribute and writing reviews about whiskies certainly wasn't something I considered, given the amount of people who do that, and who do that very well. Why bother reinventing ice-cream when almond magnums are available? However, I am currently making my way through a bottle of Lagavulin 8, kindly given to me by a friend who then had quite a severe reaction to a COVID-19 vaccine and had to be hospitalised with heart complications. This review is for him.
I'll just say, that this review isn't simply based on a sample. This is a review of a whisky that I have had a bottle of before. This is a second bottle review. And I'm going to be upfront and say that I really didn't think much of the first bottle at all, in fact, I thought it was a waste of money given I could have got a Laga 16 for not too much more, at the time of course. Now, with the price increases, is Lagavulin 8 actually good value for money at 50 euros (at the time of writing)? Let's find out, in a whisky review that continues below
ABV: 48%
Colour: Natural Light Brown
Smell: Sweat and tears (so salt) from inside old mother hubbards shoe at the popular Aberdeen based attraction, Storybook Glen, a caramac that has melted on a rusty iron railing, nail polish remover diluted with sugar water, sweetness, yes, of course, smoke, also yes, I mean, of course. Some lemon, let's say lemon scented candles
Taste: Blackjacks (so liquorice), some kind of alcoholic pudding but I don't know which one, stale weetabix and closed down workshops that specialised in tractors (lol oil), but sweetness again, less than on the nose. Perhaps seaweed I was expecting more bite it seems a little subdued
Finish: LOL the same as the above but more drawn out, the whisky hangs around for a bit let's not get carried away here, oh perhaps some lemons return and I guess you could say 'ashy'
Score: 6/10
Conclusion: I think I am going to stick with entry level peated whiskies going forwards, and try Laphroaig Quarter Cask for my next review. I probably won't be buying this (Laga 8) again for a while as I felt it lacked something, perhaps that proper smoky punch I was looking for, or maybe it was that alcoholic bite that I really like with this kind of stuff. It was good, 'made me think' but at times, I was thinking of 'other drams' and this is 'kind of' winter season, something that I do associate with peated whisky. However, as cold as it is, I find myself wishing it was colder still, like I remember from when I was younger, and perhaps this is what is leading me towards more peatier, heavier drams of late. A seasonal man looking for a seasonal dram
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