Mullet Music

 Mullets and Music

Yesterday, but to be honest it doesn't really matter when, a friend asked me what I was listening to at the moment and what type of music I prefer. My usual reaction is to say something like, yeah, I listen to a lot of different types of music, I like most if not all genres, I am an open minded musical kind of person, I wouldn't want to simply say, 'Radiohead' even if they are, somewhat predictably, my favourite band. However, folks these days want very simple direct responses, they are asking a question and they are looking for an answer. Everyone is busy, everyone is asking questions, we need to be more forthcoming in our answers.

And so my answer was very very simple. My favourite type of music is mullet music.

This is, in no way, shape or indeed form, a joke. I'm not talking about music made by people who have mullets, that would be absolutely bizarre and somewhat limiting. No, when I talk about mullet music, I am speaking about music that is shorter at the front, but longer at the back (usually with shaved sides). I'm talking about music that most people would automatically mock or make fun of, but is actually really good and unique. Something from off the beaten path. A bit of mullet music!

My favourite song at the moment? It's Captain Beefheart's 'Tropical Hotdog Night', a song which I would describe as mullet music

This song has some problematic lyrics, it's all about lucky girls coming out and meeting (and feeding) the monster tonight. How could I, a feminist and a woke individual, like a song with these lyrics? Well, I was so taken by the mullet nature of this track, that I really didn't pay attention to the lyrics at first. I was too busy mulleting around, basking in the unusual nature of the song, the wild gruffness of Mr Beefheart and the trumpets and exotic instruments. I love the singular identity of this song. Please note, I am aware I am speaking from my extremely limited English language based western lens on music.

Mumford and Sons

Let me tell you what isn't mullet music, and that's Mumford and Sons. They don't write stuff like this 

"Tropical Hot Dog Night

Everything's wrong, at the same time it's right
The truth has no patterns for me tonight
I'm playing this music so the young girls will come out
To meet the monster tonight
Meet the monster tonight"

Do they have less offensive lyrics than that? Yes, of course they do. Their lyrics are fine, kind, somewhat inoffensive. They write about love and acceptance. Their music is technically fine, they are popular, some of their videos have 88 million views and have Hollywood stars in them. I don't hate Mumford and Sons, despite at least one of them being a high priest of the temple of wank. But they are mass marketed, they are corporate, they are blended somehow into making something consistent. Mumford and Sons are (I am so sorry for this) 40%, chill filtered and artificially coloured. And that's fine, that's popular. That's fine. I like some of their songs don't get me wrong here, please, I don't dislike Mumford and Wanks!

Independent Bottlers vs Original Bottlers

Yes, this is a whisky blog, and yes, all along, I have been talking about whisky, kind of. The kind of whisky I am interested in, is different whisky. Unusual whisky. Mullet whisky. Independent whisky. Single cask whisky. Cask strength whisky. I am interested in Tropical Hotdog night whisky. I want whisky that is unsafe, I want whisky that is unknown, I want my whisky aged in a cask that has previously held cats piss, a one off, something special. I want an aged statement whisky, at cask strength, that will make me say OMG what is this? I want to run the risk, the gauntlet, the krypton factor, the crystal maze. I want to fail, I want to spit whisky out and shout, why would they let a whisky age for 17 years in an Australian wine cask, why? I want anticipation, I want experimentation, I want a whisky that has fought, and lost, and won again, and has a story to tell. I want a whisky that has been trapped in a dungeon and released into the blinding sun, a whisky that appreciates what it means to be free.

And I want to drink them to usual music, such as the Tropical Hotdog Night song

I just wish the lyrics were a bit better