Laphroaig 10

My review of Laphroaig 10, bottled at 40%, chill filtered, unnatural colour and matured in finest oak wood

If you find yourself traveling down the A8 motorway to the Laphroaig, you might take the time to consider just exactly what you are doing, and where you are going, and perhaps, indeed, how you got there. All valid questions to ask in any situation you are in, and ones that I explore in my last book (What, where, when, whoops and why). But for now let’s apply the basic five fingered fist of fury analysis not to the tarmac, not to the Little Chef and most definitely, not to satellite navigation, but to whisky, and specifically, Laphroaig. Even more specifically, Laphroaig 10, which is a whisky you should be able to find at most supermarkets, and is the most gifted 'peated' whisky in the UK over Christmas, Easter and other religious holidays, but strangely, and the biggest religious holiday of all, not birthdays, which turns out to be the Lagavulin 16.

Pulling up to the Laphroaig after the 4 hour drive from Dunbartonshire, I thought about the places I passed through, such delights as Inverkip, Dunoon, Barwich and Luss, and was applying my five fists of fury to them (what, where, when, whoops and why remember), it came as a little bit of a surprise, although I knew I was getting close because the road beneath me changed from asphalt to dirt and stones, and google maps couldn’t get a signal. But think back to a time if I had to rely on good old-fashioned signposts! As is tradition with Scottish roads and distilleries, the locals, and this shows the wit and humour of the natives, make sure to alter the signs to any location that produces alcohol, as reference to the times they used to do it to confuse the taxperson collecting the whisky rents, the English or, as folklore goes, the angels who are sent by god to collect his share (gods share). If only our lord had a Tom Tom, they would have had much more whisky!

The visitor centre is a masterpiece, constructed entirely of local materials, and built only by those who won the contract put out to tender, and them alone. It blends in perfectly with the rest of the distillery, and is well known in the area for having the best cream cakes and high tea, so arriving outside the hours between 11 and 1 is recommended. My tour started at 2.30 and I got there at 2, which gave me enough time to park my car and make my way to the visitor centre, and announce that I would be partaking in the tour which started at 2.30. Other tours started at the obscenely early 9.30, moving on to a much more graceful 11, a salacious 12.30, and a frankly obese 4.30. I saw the 12.30 tour just finishing up and leaving and, to be perfectly honest, looking at their clothing, I was glad to have chosen the 2.30 tour.

If you have ever seen, or indeed been, to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory, then you will already be familiar with the workings of a modern day distillery. High tech technology married with traditional wood fired kilns, much of the backbreaking work has been replaced by automation, leaving the humans free to focus on the finer details of distillation, such as fluffing the copper or that fine fine art of blending. The tour took over an hour and a half, and, as I was five fisting my way through it all, it seemed like it took just ten minutes. I won’t bore you will all the notes I made, this is after all, a review of their standard dram, but suffice to say, I have enough material for at least a couple of paragraphs, I kid you not! I would, 100%, recommend the tour.

After the tour, or rather, I should say, the last part of the tour, we were given three drams to taste. The 10, the 18 and the 10 cask strength. As I was driving, they very kindly gave me samples to take home, and indeed, it’s the sample that I am reviewing. I could have bought a bottle anywhere, but how many people actually get to try the standard 10 directly from the distillery? I’ve heard it’s like Guinness in Ireland, it just tastes better. Probably because of the local water, rather than the water they would use in other parts of the country. So, with much ado, dear reader, with the smells and sounds of the distillery filling my ears, nose and throat, I bring you to my thoughts on Laphroaig 10.

What is the colour of this whisky? - Full sparkling gold

Where am I, and what am I smelling? - Huge smoke, seaweedy, 'medicinal', with a hint of sweetness

When is the body going to reveal itself? – It’s full bodied

Whoops I’ve swallowed it, what now? - Surprising sweetness with hints of salt and layers of 'peatiness'

Why does it have to finish? – It lingers for a while!

If I had to score this whisky, I would give it an 8/10, definitely a classic, and I could not help loving this whisky given it’s history, and, now, of course, my small part in being part of it (I took some towels from the visitor centres toilets)

Farewell my friends, until my next whisky review!