Sniffing whisky, and other pleasant smells, is one of the delights of life. Something to take your time over. Rushing is for emptying the dishwasher, not for enjoying a dram. Whilst the whisky in our glass changes, as does our environment, one thing remains the same and that's us. How we savour the moment, is what other people witness as we gather to see who has the most magnificent nose.
Usually, it's the whisky being judged. Not today, today it's us judging us. I present to you in all it's glory the different ways folks get their sniff on. Which one are you?
Ceremonial
Wiggle it, just a little bit. Every dram is a special occasion and the glass must moved about (a lot) and stared at (a lot). It must be jigged from side to side, after the spirit has been sloshed around the glass a few times of course. If whisky drinking was was a gym class, the instructor would be yelling out to lycra clad folk in a sweaty room - "Nose down, head in, head out, stare hard, head back in, move glass to left, now move to the right,". Hey macarena, alright!
Intense
My nose is so far down in the glass, I will not miss anything. Witness the glass rim impressed into my face as I seek oxygen in between sucking the excess alcohol up my snout. This is to be forgiven, because these folk love their whisky and the passion has overcome them. Say hallelujah a few times and touch their forehead. They may be reborn.
Posh
These folk may be found wearing hunters wellies indoors and enjoy watching the antiques roadshow too much. Likely to be having a dram after a wild afternoon tea session. The tell is the little finger up as they tilt their neck back to have a whiff.
Panicked
Oh no I sniffed too much! It smells like whisky. Short sharp breaths. Take a brown paper bag and calm yourself down. I recommend yoga training. You must go to India and immerse yourself for several years to learn how to sniff properly.
Thoughtful
Will I be able to sniff more interesting things than my mates? Or, is nail polish going to come up again and vanilla. I'm really thinking about this and just like when I kiss, I always keep my eyes open. Do you open or close your eyes? If you close them (don't) take a look at yourself in the mirror. Regardless, this is a statesman or lady overseeing their estate, and the moment requires much deep thinking, like, am I living in virtual reality?
Impatient
I ain't got time for this pal. I'm here to have a drink, not write a blog. Let's get on with tasting it. These people should be drinking cans of Fosters and Tesco essential vodka chasers, but they aren't, which is a pity. I suspect the same people also do not wait for the Guinness to settle before having a sip.
This is all written to be tongue-in-cheek. I hope it may have made you smile. Whisky is a joy, and as complex as it is, can also be fun. Cheers!
This blog was written by Duncan aka @whiskytip
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