Bowmore - A Time to Die

 

Here we go here we fucking go

Few distilleries evoke such passion in me as Bowmore. I've been to Islay and been to the distillery in two thousand and seven, saw the swimming pool next to it heated by the hot air recycled from their kilning which they use to provide, apparently, twenty five percent of their own barley, that's cool, and I have drank some Bowmore in my life. In fact, I recall buying the heavily coloured nine year old at Asda for fifteen pounds a pop and having so much fun with it, drinking from the bottle playing golf with friends, I like Bowmore and own some of their stuff via the SMWS, I like Bowmore a lot actually how could I not, it's whisky from Islay and it can be amazing. Their hand fills are legendary in fact. And yet I hate them, I hate them with a passion, I really hate Bowmore. Fuck you Bowmore.

I'd by this for fifteen pounds again

I hate Bowmore because of their high end branding, and their pretty piss poor standard range, there I said it, that's why I hate Bowmore. I've commented before on their high end stuff, for example, their Timeless Series, which was made up of a twenty seven year old  (ex-bourbon and ex-sherry casks for fifteen years, oloroso butts for twelve years) at an outrageous price of one thousand, five hundred Scottish Pounds. This was a release of three thousand bottles, using a calculator they were valuing their stock of this at a cool four point five fucking million Scottish pounds. For the sake of brevity, the other release in this series was also very highly priced and also at three thousand bottles and at one thousand seven hundred and fifty bucharoos was valued together at five million two hundred and fifty thousand pounds, valuing the entire Timeless Series at nine million seven hundred and fifty thousand pounds. This is whisky, this is whisky aged in casks made of wood.

No thanks

So there is some difference there, between a fifteen pound bottle and a bottle that cost nearly two thousand pounds. Perhaps I shouldn't compare the two, and yet, the base liquid is pretty much being distilled in the same way, the cleric is the same in these bottles, so why shouldn't I? I am, I am most definitely comparing the two, because it's whisky coming out from the same distillery, within a ten year period. Their core range, well, let's have a look at that, shall we?

Today, right now, the twelfth of November in the two thousand and twenty second year of our lord and saviour Mr LMAO, I can buy the following whisky labelled as 'Bowmore'

A twelve year old at around forty euros

A NAS called Legend at around twenty six euros

Another NAS called 'No 1' for around thirty euros

A fifteen year old for around sixty euros

All of these whiskies have had colour added to them, are chill-filtered and are watered down. In other words, you would be better, perhaps, buying other whiskies. That's Bowmore serving 'pish' to the common folks, and selling their better stuff to people who can afford to buy Islands instead of Semi Detached Houses. That's fucking dogshit, that's a distillery who hates you, a distillery who hates me, a distillery who is against us, not for us. That's my opinion on Bowmore. I make no apologies for it, apart from saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I hope I am not offending anyone here'

The Rich, yesterday, smirking at you

I'm not even going to start started on this new No Corners to Hide release other than its total value at RRP in united states of dollars is four million six hundred and sixty one thousand and seventy. OK perhaps I will start a little. The twenty three year old it not as badly priced as some of these other high end releases, but it's still highly priced and you can buy much better I am sure, but the thirty two year old can get in the sea. Not that far for a Bowmore to go given its geographical location to be fair. And today, I am sure I will see retweets and blogs about this release, and few will mention the scandal of Bowmore, the slop for the masses and the good stuff for the butler employing class.

I could go on, but I suspect I would end up in a hospital and I'm not sure which kind of hospital