Analogies

A random analogy book by generated by something called 'Murray AI'

Writing a decent analogy is like being greased up with goose fat and wrestling a python in a swimming pool of oil at night, that is to say, it's really quite difficult and no-one has ever come out of doing one alive. You run the risk of the run on, because no two things are alike and someone, a smart fucker, can always come along and 'run along' with the lovely, funny and deeply thought out comparison you put your heart and soul into making. Using analogies is like trying to capture the sun with a butterfly net, or naming your child Bento (this has actually happened, a colleague of mine actually named her son Bento), it should never, ever be done, unless you really want to do it, then of course, it's totally fine it's just a way of explaining something to people from a different perspective, or point of view (the same thing) come on come on

Why can't we all just 'get along'

I remember, on twitter, talking about how unfair it was to attribute Labour losses to the left wing given how there is no mainstream left wing media representation in the UK, with a coke/pepsi advertising analogy, and here again and seeing them taken apart with such quips as 'Moral of the story: Everyone ends up with bad teeth' and 'Pepsi would need to change the game. Disrupt the normal. Like Uber did.' and I almost stopped with analogies because either I was just so bad at them (not possible) or that analogies are fundamentally flawed because people are stupid and take them literally and 'run on with them' thinking they are smart. They are not the smart, I am the smart, they are stupid, and I am very very smart, more on this later in the blog. I am still hurt by these analogy run on's, as you can see, I am still very bitter, unlike the Murphys. More on bitterness in the blog later as well. Don't worry, it's a short blog, and bitterness runs through it, much like how a former Prime Minister might have ran through a field of wheat in her youth, or how regret, doubt and a deep sense of foreboding runs though a modern life in this hellscape we call 'existence'.

This is ironic, a bad image, people just like coffee, like etc etc

As a lazy scumbag who needs to pad out his blog because he is doing one a day, I introduce to you the dictionary.com definition of the word 'Analogy'

noun

1. a comparison between one thing and another, typically for the purpose of explanation or clarification.

   "an analogy between the workings of nature and those of human societies"

   • a correspondence or partial similarity.

     "the syndrome is called deep dysgraphia because of its analogy to deep dyslexia"
   • a thing which is comparable to something else in significant respects.

     "works of art were seen as an analogy for works of nature"

So we are clear, it's just a comparison to explain something, and I love them, I have always loved them because I believe they can be so creative and funny. But of course the coin always has two sides, the devil and the angel drink from the same bowl, a fatter hen in the henhouse doesn't always lead to more eggs and a penny spent on the future can never change the horrible past of which you are responsible, you are, you need to take ownership of that, and at the same time, let it go, don't let the past be the electrostimulator that you strap to your stomach in search of the perfect abs that you will never get. Don't do that. That's like painting a long white stripe down a cat's back and pretending it's a skunk, it will only lead to embarrassing stereotypes and misogyny, and more of that in the blog later too. In fact, it's coming right up!

TEM image of Sn nanoparticles synthesized in BMP NTf 2

Analogies can get you into trouble, powerful as they are, as the now sadly cancelled Jim Murray might have told you before he decided to go down the sexism route. His 2022 Whisky Bible (which is being published on the 16th November 2021 will probably have less controversial analogies than before in his 2021 edition, when he compared a Canadian whisky 'to fucking fifty raccoons bareback in a limo bound for Georgia state' or Glenmorangie Signet to 'smearing chocolate all over the walls of a Glasgow pub toilet and watching the reactions to patreons leaving disgusted, complaining to the barperson'. I look forward to reading what he thought were the best whiskies in the world before he taken off the Whisky Exchanges reading list. Like Alexander the Great once said, 'if you chat shit, you get banged'

SAD

I'm going to wrap up this blog now, but basically when I use an analogy, it's because I think you don't actually understand the topic in hand so I explain it to you like you are a fucking idiot by using something similar, but simpler, very much like putting de-worming tablets into a sausage for a dog, or fishing for dolphins using dynamite. And when someone explains something to me using an analogy, unless they are very very careful about it, I automatically make them my worst enemy and will plan long term revenge, of course I am not talking about any kind of physical retribution here in todays climate, I am talking about a snarky comment when everything has calmed down after I shit my pants on the internet of course. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and snarky, and often, skipped. Put yourself on a revenge diet, if you will. Revenge is like a cardboard box that's been left out in the rain, not a good place to call a home. Everyone should have a home, there should be no homeless people, and no-one should be sleeping in cardboard boxes.

I would like to thank Bert Smedley for his image, credit where credit is due, that's an original image that I have used for this blog, and as we all know now, that's art, that's worth something. I would also like to thank @CEVokins for feedback, which has made me a (slightly) better person and a (slightly) better communicator