Batley and Spen

 My bit about the Batley and Spen Bi-Annual Election

Before politics was politics, before George Galloways was even born, before the creation of Great Britain, but, and this is crucial, not before it's demise, there was Batley and Spen. Batley and Spen has always been a place that has attracted attention, Batley and Spen has always been the de-facto capital of the UK, letting London have all the limelight whilst it quietly got on with the business of actually running things. Batley and Spen is Batley and Spen, and I think that's something a lot of people don't understand.

I have lived in Batley and Spen for 30 years, I was born in Batley and Spen, and I work in Batley and Spen. I have a house in Batley and Spen, my five beautiful sons all born in that house, water births with no complications, no need to trouble the hospital in Batley and Spen. Batley and Spen is my life, my blood, my soul. If you cut me, you will see blood, of course, but you will also hear something, and that certain something would be very much like the words Batley and Spen, pouring out of me like the blood from the artery you severed, Batley and Spen. If you don't think I have the best interests of Batley and Spen at heart, then, you would be wrong, because I do. I love Batley and Spen, I really love Batley and Spen.

Batley and Spen is having it's bi-annual election (that's twice every four years) and it seems to be generating a lot of attention. Media pundits such as Aaron Jones and Toby Jugg have been all over the place in recent days, making trouble in neighbourhoods and unfortunately creating a lot of mess and distress by knocking over bins and kicking cats. The rational behind this kind of journalism is to try and recreate hostile environments for residents to see how they respond under pressure, but this can lead to said residents simply closing down their garden shops and closing their doors for the summer, retreating into their homes and not coming out for months. That is Batley and Spen.

And these are the kinds of things that you will never find in a Toby Jones article, these are the kinds of insights that you will only get from a resident. Does Toby know about the drainage tunnel in the park, the electric chicken, Franks Smokey Waffle House or the legend of Joe McGrow (the first person to walk naked from Johns Groats to Lands End without being stopped by the police)? Of course not, because Batley and Spen is just another news story to them. Batley and Spen is simply work, it's simply a place, a stop on their journeys. Batley and Spen is not a destination for them, like it is for us. Batley and Spen, for better or for worse, is Batley and Spen.

I interviewed Georges Galloways and Kimothy Leadbetter, and I simply asked them one question. One question. And that question was, simply, Batley and Spen? George said 'maybe', and Kim said 'sure' so take from that what you will, but have a think about that question, and consider why neither candidate actually gave a yes or no answer. What possible reason could they have for not giving a straightforward and clear answer to the most important issue for people in Batley and Spen, which is, of course Batley and Spen. I have given this some considerable thought, and the answer, I think, lies directly in Batley and Spen.

The answer to the question of Batley and Spen isn't of course a simple yes or a no, a sure or a maybe. There are no simple answers to the question of Batley and Spen, because the actual answer to this complex question is as complex as the question itself. The answer is Batley and Spen. Go, go speak to anyone in Batley and Spen, ask them what they think of Batley and Spen. And then listen. Listen not to the words they say, but listen to the amount of times they say Batley and Spen. They will mention Batley and Spen at least ten times, and that's because they love Batley and Spen. Batley and Spen is never far from their minds, and a good investigative journalist will take the most important parts of an answer and remove the chaff, such as hospitals, palestine or feline abuse by rowdy reporters, and focus on the real recurring meat on the bone. And is Batley and Spen.

Kimothy Leadbetters and Georges Galloways

So, on July 1st 2021 Batley and Spen will election an MP into the houses of parliament, and that MP will be the MP for Batley and Spen. This MP should not be an MP for anything other than Batley and Spen, They should not be involved in activities that harm Batley and Spen, or that, in any way, demote Batley and Spen to the lower leagues where the competition is fierce and the money tight. Batley and Spen should most definitely not be involved in any breakaway league, because that is not what the people of Batley and Spen want. They want Batley and Spen to remain Batley and Spen, for Batley and Spen to remain in the same place it's always been. Batley and Spen should not be moved.

Batley and Spen, Batley and Spen. Batley and Spen, Batley and Spen, Batley and Spen, Batley and Spen but Batley and Spen, maybe Batley and Spen, yes Batley and Spen and no to not Batley and Spen, pro Batley and Spen bias is the only acceptable bias, let's go Batley and Spen. Come on Batley and Spen, Batley and Spen, Batley and Spen, the one and only Batley and Spen.